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I really don't know, should I buy this C D? It seems to offer so many opportunities:

I have been receiving emails saying that I'm contributing to the "moral decay of society" by selling the Banned C D. That may be, but I feel Strongly that you have a right to benefit from this hard-to-find information. So I am giving you ONE LAST CHANCE to order the Banned C D! With this powerful C D, you will be able to investigate your friends, enemies and lovers in just minutes using the Internet You can track down old flames from college, or you can dig up some dirt on your boss to make sure you get that next promotion!

Or maybe you want a fake diploma to hang on your bedroom wall. You'll find addresses for companies that make these diplomas on the Banned C D. Need to disappear fast and never look back? No problem! Using the BannedCD, you will learn how to build a completely new identity. Obviously, the Powers That Be don't want you to have the BannedCD. They have threatened me with lawsuits, fines, and even imprisonment unless I stop selling it immediately. But I feel that YOU have a Constitutional right to access this type of information, and I can't be intimidated. Uncle Sam and your creditors are horrified that I am still selling this product! There must be a price on my head!

Why are they so upset? Because this C D gives you freedom. And you can't buy freedom at your local Walmart. You will have the freedom to avoid Zreditors, judgments, lawsuits, IRS tax collectors, criminal indictments, your greedy ex-wife or ex-husband, and MUCH more!

Or may be I'd be happier with some of these? After all they work right away and last so long:


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But then the choice became overwhelming. What should I buy of these? This mail is almost like poetry. All these beautiful words. Just randomly selected by a machine.

middleman testifying branch poland scum searchers blomquist possessively tansy breakoff ethereally
exclamation estoppal idealistic metropolis illustrates bodyguards ignorance memorabilia tawdry adler benny
messiah corrodible melodious acquirable huge correlating poacher hurricane $RANDO
MIZE explicate baffin courtesy humidified crosswords metaphysically sarcoma belgrade expressway crested
creativity activate branch creaky scatters excelling ado pointwise mellow plenary acton brazing creeping
ads teas 1st actinometers practitioners angie positioning $RANDOM
IZE examine tempter theocracy admiral technicality pliable horn blaine excavated hypochlorite bombardment
etiology acoustic expressing expanding branch positiveness bob mildly taxation cousin

bravura bergstrom administered tetrahedra atlantic meditating creditable meiosis accoutrement thatches
pleasingly evidencing bones telegraph anthony horrendously schema bowdlerizes hospitable seamen hostesses
hospitably husk acquisitions crocus microprocessor hotrod creates mendelevium alps $RANDOM
IZE angie postscript bonds scolding expiration counterpoise crested explainable imitable poorly baffin
corroborating memoranda beirut hospitable mill criminal taft menaced correspond blurts tempers mechanized
bract babylonian scuttle critiquing sarcophagus bole mergers $RANDOMI
ZE coughing except costumed hovels breachers matins branch acquiring arab cotta pleurisy pollution
excommunicate admitting plaza horseshoer midnight memento polls idiotic export

Just what should I do? So many options, so much choice. Suggestions on a postcard...