Getting Rich Quick 10...

From: "OYENKA UGOCHUKWU" <vakposki@juno.com>
Reply-To: onye_ugo@yahoo.co.uk
To: spam@itsworsethanyouthink.co.uk
Subject: HOW ARE YOU?

ATTENTION: VERY URGENT

DEAR FRIEND,

BEFORE I START, I MUST FIRST APOLOGIES FOR THIS UNSOLICITED MAIL TO YOU.I AM AWARE THAT THIS IS CERTAINLY AN UNCONVENTIONAL APPROACH TO STARTING A RELATIONSHIP, THOUGH YOU MAY HAVE RECIEVED SIMILAR MAIL LIKE THIS, I WOULD WANT YOU TO GIVE THIS ONE A GOOD THOUGHT. I CRAVE YOUR MOST DESIRED INDULGENCE.

MY NAMES ARE CHIEF OYENKA UGOCHUKWU, CHAIRMAN OF THE NIGER-DELTA DEVELOPMENT COMMISSION (NDDC), NDDC WAS SET UP BY THE PRESIDENT OBASANJO LED GOVERNMENT AS A FEDERAL GOVERNMENT INTERVENTION TO HELP IN REBUILDING THE NEGLECTED,BATTARED AND ENVIROMENTAL POLLUTED REGION OF THE NIGER DELTA.

NIGER DELTA IS THE SOUTH-SOUTH GEOGRAPHICAL AREA OF FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA. THE REGION IS ENDORSED WITH NATURAL RESOURCES WHICH CONSTITUTE ABOUT 95% OF OUR GROSS NATIONAL INCOME. CONSEQUENTLY TO THE EXPLORATION OF OIL AND NATURAL GAS, THERE HAS BEEN ECOLOGICAL AND ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTION IN THIS REGION. RATHER UNFORTUNATE, THE REGION LACKS MOST INFRASTRUCTURAL AMENITIES. THESE AND MUCH MORE HAVE NECESSITATED THE ESTABLISHMENT OF NIGER-DELTA DEVELOPMENT COMMISSION.

SEQUEL TO THE PASSING OF BILL BY THE NATIONAL HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY (THE LEGISLATIVE ORGAN OF THE GOVERNMENT) AND DULLY ACCENTED TO BY THE PRESIDENT, LEGITIMIZING THE OPERATIONS OF THE COMMISSION BY AN ACT OF LAW. THE COMMISSION HAS, THEREFORE, BEEN CONSTITUTIONALLY EMPOWERED TO IMPLEMENT A POLICY WHICH WILL RELATIVELY ADDRESS THE LONG STANDING NEGLECT OF THE REGION.

IT MAJOR CONCERN WAS DIRECTED IN THE AREA OF FLOODING AND COASTAL EROSION, SEDIMENTATION AND SILITATION,SOCIAL ECONOMIC PROBLEMS, HEALTH PROBLEM, OIL SPILAGE, AIR POLLUTION ETC. ENCOURAGINGLY, THE COMMISSION HAVING SUCCESSFULLY INHERITED FUNDS FROM FINE ACCRUING FROM THE VIOLATION OF THE ASSOCIATED GAS EJECTION ACT OF 1979, THE OIL COMPANIES OPERATIONAL IN THE REGION HAVE ALSO BEEN MANDATED TO PAY 2% OF THEIR TAXABLE PROFIT TO THE NDDC TREASURY, KEPT IN NDDC'S ACCOUNT WITH THE APEX BANK OF NIGERIA - WITH MY COMMISSION HAVING JURISDICTION OVER THE FUND. THE FUND HAS SINCE ACCRUDE WELL OVER HUNDRED MILLION DOLLAR. VISIT www.vanguardngr.com OF TODAY FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19,2003 PAGE 45/46 FOR MORE ON THIS ISSUE.

HOWEVER MY REASON FOR CONTACTING YOU IS THAT MYSELF AND COLLEAGUES WANT TO HAVE THIRTY FIVE MILLION US DOLLAR (USD35,000,000.00) TRANSFERRED ABROAD. WHICH WE CAN NOT DO AS CIVIL SERVANTS, WHO ARE NOT ALLOWED BY LAW TO OPERATE A FORIEGN ACCOUNTS AS STIPULATED IN OUR CODE OF SERVICE, UPON YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO COLLABORATE WITH US, WE WILL FRONT YOU TO HAVE PERFORMED A CONTRACT WITH THE COMMISSION, THEREFORE MAKING YOU THE TRUE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND. EVERY DOCUMENT IN RESPECT OF THE CONTRACT, LEGITIMIZINGS YOU AS THE TRUE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND AND AUTHORIZING ITS IMMEDIATE REMITTANCE INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT SHALL BE OBTAINED AND PERFECTED. YOU ARE HEREBY REQUIRED TO FURNISH ME WITH THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:
1. YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS
2. PARTICULARS OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
3. YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER
NOTE, YOU CAN OPEN A FRESH ACCOUNT FOR THE FUND.

ON THE RECEIPT OF THE ABOVE INFORMATION, THE FUND SHALL BE REMITTED INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT WITHIN 10 WORKING DAYS. I MUST ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS SAFE IN ALL ITS TOTALITY, HOWEVER, ABSOLUTE CONFIDENTIALITY IS REQUIRED EVEN AFTER THE FUND HAS BEEN REMITTED INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT. NOTE, FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE YOU SHALL BE COMPENSATED WITH 25% OF THE FUND WHILE 5% IS FOR ANY EXPENSES INCURED DURING THE TRANSACTION.

THOUGH YOU STAND TO BENEFIT 20% OF THE FUND FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE HOWEVER, OUR ESSENCE OF THIS TRANSACTION IS PURELY HUMANITARIAN. MYSELF AND COLLEAGUES HAVE STUDIED THE ETHNIC, POLITICAL AND RELIGIOUS SITUATION IN THE COUNTRY, WE ARE CONVINCED THAT THE PRESIDENT OF FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, WHO HAS BEEN INSENSITIVE TO THE PLIGHT OF NIGER-DELTA PEOPLE, WILL DEFINITELY NOT BE RETURNED TO OFFICE FOR A THIRD TERM TENURE IN THE NEXT POLITICAL DISPENSATION (PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION), THEREFORE RETURNING NIGER-DELTANS TO BLACK YEARS OF MILITARY RULE. THIS IS CONSEQUENTLY TO FACT THAT HAUSA DOMINATED NIGERIAN MILITARY AND THEIR POLITICAL CLASS ARE INSENSITIVE TO THE PLIGHT OF THE NIGER-DELTANS. IT COULD BE RECALLED DURING THE RULE OF HAUSA, THAT NIGER-DELTA REGION RECORDED THE HIGHEST CHILD IMORTALITY IN OUR GENERATION; OUR RIVERS WERE POLLUTED BY THE OIL COMPANIES AND FISHERY BEING OUR PRIMARY OCCUPATION, THERE WAS ACUTE STARVATION ACROSS THE REGION.

MYSELF AND COLLEAGUES BEING NATIVES OF THIS REGION, HAVE DECIDED TO SAVE FOR THE RAINING DAYS FOR THE BENEFIT OF OUR PEOPLE. ON THE DEMISE OF THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT IN NIGERIA AND NIGER-DELTA DEVELOPMENT COMMISSION SCRAPPED, WE HAVE PLEDGED TO ESTABLISH A NON-GOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATION THAT IS NIGER-DELTANS ORIENTED TO SEE TO THE NEEDS OF OUR PEOPLE. IT IS IN THIS NGO'S ACCOUNT THAT THE FUND SHALL BE REPATRIATED BY YOU.I AWAIT YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE. THANK YOU...

BEST REGARDS,
CHIEF OYENKA UGOCHUKWU
CHAIRMAN.

Hi Chief!

I think I need your help here: Who is "Very Urgent"? Is he (or may be she?) your friend? And why do you start a relationship when he (or may be she?) is your friend?

My names are Weird Bloke, Master of all Spam, Acclaimed Waster of Bytes and Bandwidth and this rubbish was set up because I felt like it. Or so.

Virtual Mansion House is the place where bytes and bandwidth are wasted in abundance, similar to how you waste CAPITAL LETTERS. But fear not, WE HAVE ENOUGH RESERVES FOR ANOTHER THIRTYFIVE BILLION EMAILS (35,000,0000,000 EMAILS).

So here's our offer: In return for 50% of your funds (not the paltry 20% you are offering) we are willing to give you ENOUGH CAPITAL LETTERS FOR TEN THOUSAND (10,000) OF YOUR EMAILS!!! Now is that an offer?

We remain in anticipation of your improved offer,
with regards,
Weird Bloke, Master of all Spam, Acclaimed Waster of Bytes and Bandwidth